#5969 I'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with my girlfriend #noshame #sorrynotsorry

#5968 my dream man is someone who will sing ella fitzgerald/louis armstrong duets with me.

#5967 Trojan condoms suck, don't ever use them. They always break. You'll save yourself so much trouble.

#5966 I feel like a lot of the people on umd confessions will overly support girls being sexual, but will really slander sexual guys (they're "desperate" or "thirsty").

#5965 the umd17 facebook group is becoming a self promotion group for sofloantonio...its the most annoying thing ever. the first few times he posted, I actualy went and watched the videos but then i stopped because the videos were so stupid.

#5964 I wish I was black. Their culture is far more vast and genuine to mine own.

#5963 What the fuck is wrong with DOTS? I parked my car and accidentally paid for parking at another stall whose number was really close to the stall# where I parked. So when I came back, I had a $25 ticket waiting for me. I requested for review and sent them an image of the receipt which shows I paid for the parking but it still got rejected. what the hell am I suppose to do now? Paid for the parking and now pay $25 as well??? I ain't got no extra money on my hands for this kind of bullshit

#5962 In response to #5943 I went into the church off metzerott one morning when I was still drunk from the night before and stole all of the prayer booklets right before morning mass started so those buttfaces couldn't pray to the Hitler they call God/Jesus. Hail Science.