I need to eat a quesrrito and a McGangBang before I die......

I want to butt chug a beer someday

I'm in love with a stripper

Is this the Krusty Krab?

Working in customer service has turned me into the nicest customer, but a bitter person. Some people are so lazy and inconsiderate.

So, I'm gay and I keep getting jealous that one of the guys I hooked up with just had sex with a guy that I really like last night and have been talking to for awhile. What do I do? I really want to get more serious with this guy.

First time going to the bar last night, I hit on a girl who I thought might have given me the eye a few times. She was really very cute, I was really drunk. I asked her if I could buy her a drink (Im new at this). But she had one and said no. She told me this was her first time too and asked me if I also had a fake. Because I was being awkward, I just asked to buy her a drink AGAIN, even though she had already answered this question, but now she said yes. Just couldnt help but feel awkward as fuck, so I bought two drinks, downed them both, and left bents because I felt too awkward. Didnt see her again. So if youre out there, Im sorry, I hope you understand. Yeah...

I counted out how much I had to drink Saturday night. It was 14 shots. On a mostly empty stomach. How am I not dead.