To the person sitting in front of me in psych, control your farting.

I just almost ran over a little azn girl because I had my crack beats up too loud. In my defense, the devil dwelled in my blind spot and stood a whopping 4 foot 7. I feel like I'm gonna get hit by a bike today. Sorry karma. And...tiny woman.

I masturbate so much that sometimes only pre comes out, even after waiting till the next night.

Currently, 666 people like UMD Confessions. This page is a den of sin.

I know this'll probably offend tons of people, but whatever. To me, the most annoying thing in the world is people who take tons and tons of selfies and post them all over fb, particularly the classic cell phone shot in the mirror. Yes, I know what you look like. And if you're good looking, I've probably already noticed that too. No need to shove it in everyone's face and fish for compliments every hour of every day. Jeezus.

The great thing about living on a campus with over 30,000 other people is that I can make random people feel really awkward in elevators, watch amusedly as they react, and then never see them again. I really suggest you try it, it's a great deal of fun.

I imagin all the confessions about not telling that beautiful girl you like her to be about me...

Religion is such a joke, but criticizing it is a joke as well, its all a joke. At the end of the day, the feud between religion and atheism is just entertainment. But that being said religious people are crazy.