#21676 I never thought I'd ever be attached to another human so much that their absence would make me physically sick. But here I am. Alone. In my bathroom. Bawling my eyes out just wishing the pain would go away. wishing I could turn back the clock and avoid meeting them all together.

#21674 Green is not a creative color

#21673 Do some research before down talking a legend. Tupac is a poet, genius, rapper, prophet, rapper version of Malcolm X and was the voice for us AA/blacks. He was very wise and beyond his years. He’s the reason why rappers like J. Cole and Kendrick Lamar exist this very day. He helped paved the way for this generation’s rappers. Put some respect on his name.

#21675 Part 3

The reason why I never been kissed, had a boyfriend, been on a date and still a virgin is because:
1. Guys in my county (PG)and DC think I’m ugly
2. I was bullied
3. I am a misfit. So guys are ashamed to be associated with me or don’t take the time to get to know me.
From the time I was in elementary school up until I graduated I was bullied. Often judged and teased for the way I look, speak and act. Before I got my braces off back in 2012, my teeth were fucked up like in an arrow. So when I would speak saliva would build up on the sides of my gums and affected my speech. People would always say “You talk funny.” Or “Why do you talk like that?” On top of that, my teeth being so crooked also affected my tongue positioning in which I developed a lateral lisp. A lateral lisp is a lisp like Sid the Sloth from Ice Age lol.
Throughout kindergarten to 9th grade, I was mute in school. I didn’t talk to no one except the teachers, principal and other staff members when spoken to. When it came to school, I was so uncomfortable and clammed up. But when I was home and in my neighborhood I was a motor mouth. So people at school would always pick on me since I was quiet. Before I moved to Upper Marlboro, me and my family lived in Largo from the time I was 5 to 10. Our neighborhood was lit and I was popular. My house was the fun house. Unfortunately my closest friends in that neighborhood went to different schools. One went to school in Montgomery County because her mother was a teacher there and the other went to another school in PG because her mother was also a teacher at that school. So I had no one with me when I went to school. Then when me and my family moved to Upper Marlboro I really didn’t have any friends. I grew apart with the ones from my old neighborhood because I live so far out.
In school I always had a hard time fitting in. I was always called weird and ugly. In 5th grade the boys voted me as the ugliest girl in the class. In 7th grade, I was called a monkey. In 8th grade, I was called an alien. The bullying was more horrible in high school. I had food thrown on me, kick me signs on my places on my back and humiliated numerous times. Many scenarios where I’ll be walking down the hallway and a group of guys pass me. One of them will say “Hey my man trying to holla at you.” Then the other guy will say “Man quit playing you got me fucked up that bitch ugly as shit.” This scenario still happens to this day. I would always cry and begged my mother to homeschool or put me into private school me but she couldn’t because she had a job at the time and couldn’t afford private school. So after 10th grade, I decided I wasn’t going back to school, I was on the verge of dropping out. But my mother came up with a plan for me to live with my grandmother and her abusive boyfriend in DC. I didn’t care, anything to get out of Flowers High School.

#21672

#21671 Part 2:
So why is my life downhill? Well I’m 24 years old. I’m a misfit, never been kissed, never been on a date, never had a boyfriend and still a virgin. I never had a job, got kicked out of college and I don’t know how to drive.
The reason why I don’t know how to drive is because I have no one to teach me. I previously wrote a confession about that a week ago.
The reason why I was kicked out of college was because of the drama my parents were going through the year before my mother left my father. That was in 2014. My mother had a total of 15 TIAs (mini strokes that year). I was constantly coming home to help take care of my mother. I was having chest pains, my brother had anxiety and my youngest brother was having panic attacks. My youngest brother stayed back in the first grade due to all of this. In addition my grandmother and close cousin of mine had passed away.
The reason why I never had a job is because my dad was selfish and my mother didn’t have her license. My dad works at nights for one and plus he doesn’t want to do shit for me and my siblings. His excuse was always him being tired and gotta work. Plus I lived in Upper Marlboro, in the boondocks where there are nothing but long, back roads. Now I live in Waldorf and it’s horrible. Now that my mother has her license she is working again we have income but everything is so far out and scattered. My mother is saving enough money to move in Largo where we’ll be close to buses and trains. So I have no one to take me to work if I were to get a job. Since we left my father , we have been struggling even more and my mother is trying her best to find a better job that pays more. I also live with my aunt, uncle and grandfather. My grandfather is retired and 80 years old and I don’t want to be a burden on him. As far as my aunt and uncle, they gave me a job which is babysitting their bad ass 5 year old daughter and paying me $80 every 2 weeks. They’re too cheap to get a babysitter and see that I not doing shit with my life. So I’m stuck here in the middle of nowhere. On top of babysitting their daughter, I had other responsibilities around the house. Like taking care of my brothers, making sure they do their homework, eat dinner and so on. Monday through Friday I cook breakfast, dinner and clean the kitchen. My 17 year old brother will help pitch in with cleaning the kitchen, monitoring our youngest brother and cook dinner. But other than that I’m like Cinderella and been like this since I got kicked out of college.

#21670 Part 1: Ever since my parents separated 3 years ago, my life has gone completely downhill.
Here’s the background:
My mother finally left my father after 27 years of being with him she was stuck and had nowhere to go. My father is verbally abusive, cheater, compulsive liar, cheap, controlling, alcoholic, thief and a crackhead. And he makes good damn money close to $100,000 at his govt job. For years, he would steal me, my 3 siblings and mother’s belongings so he could pawn them at the pawn shop. From our money, DVDs, video games, game systems, electronics, cameras, iPods, my tv, my keyboard, anything for money just so he can get his weed, crack and alcohol. We literally had to lock everything up in a safe. We couldn’t leave our money in our wallets so we had to get creative. We would hide our money in vases, in the back of electronics such as my keyboard, my mother had money hidden in the dirt of her flowerpots for plants. Keeping money in our wallets, piggy banks, under mattresses wasn’t working. He smokes weed laced with crack. He would sit back and watch me, my siblings, and my mother tear up the house, crying looking for our belongings. He would say things like “Yall better find them games I pay $50 some dollars for that!” Then he had the audacity to help us find our stolen belongings knowing damn well he pawned them.
Then he kept me, my mother and siblings locked up in the house for years. We only been on one family vacation and that was to Georgia which my mother paid for everything and he just drove us down there. All he had to do was pay for gas but he bitched and complain the whole ride down but as soon as we got down there he had the most fun. Other than that, we never went anywhere. For years he gave us broken promises about taking us to Disney World, Six Flags, Kings Dominion, he’ll save up the money and everything but end up blowing it for his drugs and alcohol. When we wanted to see a new movie at the theater, he would bring home a bootleg. When we wanted to go out to eat at Red Lobster or IHOP, he’ll bring home groceries so that we could fix it it ourselves. He would always say “Why go to IHOP when we can have our own IHOP at home?” My dad always bought cheap food, everything non name brand and from the dollar store or Target.
My mother was a house wife (since 1992) because one he didn’t want anyone to babysit us and two he purposely got my mother fired at 2 of her government jobs. That’s how controlling he is. He didn’t want my mother to work at all. My mother also didn’t have her driving license since 1997. Every time she wanted to renew it, my dad would purposely take the car and make runs all day long or sabotage the vehicle because he didn’t want my mother to drive. When my mother finally got a job in 2005 and we had 2 working vehicles. He didn’t like my mother driving herself to work because he didn’t trust her because of all the dirt he’s done to her. His guilt. So he sabotage the car just so he could drive her to work himself. On the bright side, when my mother had a job we was going out, having fun and shopping. She would take care of us first and then herself. For years, me, my mom and siblings were wearing old raggedy clothes. I only had 3 pairs of bras and like 8 pairs of socks. My siblings were on the same boat as well. Thank God we had close family and friends that were nice enough to give me and my siblings their hand me downs that loooked as good as new. When my mother would shop for nice clothes, bras and underwear, my father had a problem with that. It was an argument. “Why are you buying yourself new bras and shit you fucking around?” He always accused her of cheating since he cheated on my mother twice with 2 different women for 7 years. He wined and dined them and wouldn’t take m mother nowhere. He didn’t want other men to look at her and when they did he would cuss my mother out. He knew he was a dog and if the right man came along, my mother would leave him.
In 2009, my mother had a stroke and she was 42 years old. Strokes doesn’t run in my family at all but that was how bad my father stressed out my mother. All because she wouldn’t give him any money from her checks. He would half assed pay the bills and blow the rest on drugs. She was then laid off her job because her boss looked as her as “disabled”. Then it was back at square one again. Stuck in the house, going nowhere. Our outlet was playing in our backyard. There were barely children in the neighborhood.
Since she had the stroke my father would purposely argue with her so she could have TIAs. He wanted her disabled so that she couldn’t go nowhere and forever depend on him. My mother health was declining. To be more specific her heart was weakening and some of the nerves in left hand are damaged. Doctors told her she wasn’t going to live long if she stayed with my father.
My father is a deadbeat. He wasn’t meant for children at all. The only reason why he had me and my siblings was to trap my mother so she couldn’t go nowhere. He knew my mother was leaving and decided to trap her with me (I’m the oldest). He would force himself on my mother and throw away her birth control pills. My parents barely had sex and when they did it was like once a year in which she would sometimes get pregnant. She had 4 abortions. When my mother water broke with me, he left her to go to work and told her to figure out a way to get to the hospital. Then when I was born he accused her of cheating and embarrassed her at the hospital saying I wasn’t his child.
All this bullshit that me, my siblings and mother went through for years until my mother left my father in 2015. Since then she is happy, healthy and in a new relationship. She doesn’t have anymore TIAs.

#21666 To 21659. Is reading hard? No. Is it something I wanna do while watching TV? Absolutely not. watching TV by nature is a lazy thing. Also, you are not automatically a weaboo for liking Anime. And to provide some assistance I went to the internet to find you the exact popular opinion of what one is. So here it is: A negative term directed to anyone overly obsessed with Japanese culture to the point where they become annoying.Used frequently on the image boards of 4chan.

Most weaboos are uneducated about their obsession of choice and are often noobs who are overly zealous, trying to impress others with their otaku knowledge. Another trait of a weaboo is their desire to "be Japanese".

While the two terms are often fused together, weaboos are very different from anime fans or enthusiasts. A fan may be just as enthusiastic and knowlegable
about Japanese culture, mainly anime, but they neither boast about their knowledge nor call themselves otaku(because of its known negative connatation).
So there you have it. Also, get bent.