Took a shit today that looked just like Paula Deen. Swear to God. Thanks, Obama. >:(

Searching "UMD Confessions" on FB and getting so annoyed that you can't find this page... Then remembering that it's titled "University of Maryland Confessions". Dat summer greenery be getting to me head.

People are just no good, they are really only good for looking down on others and being jealous of those who they think are better. I think Voltaire's Candide was a rosy depiction of the world we live in. I am starting to empathize with Stalin.

I'm a lesbian. I sometimes get jealous of gay guys because it's SO much easier for them to find other gay guys to hook up with, or just to find gay guys in general. Lesbians are so hard to spot and it sucks. When I first came to college, I was looking forward to finally getting to date and hook up with other girls, but it happens so, SO rarely. I've never felt so hopeless.

Why are guys such assholes?

When I mean guys, I mean White, straight males.
Makes it hard to want to be your friend when you're constantly making offensive jokes/generalizations.

I let my Korean girlfriend eat my dog. Now that's what I call true love.

I've been on summer break for over a month now and mostly I've just watched porn and played videogames.

But that's okay, because I'm actually feeling really relaxed and I'm enjoying my life instead of being worried about homework/exams all the time and whether or not I'm being social enough.

There's really no point of waiting for your life to be better in the future if you're not enjoying life in the present.

Self-righteous vegetarian gays are such a turn off.