I talk to Siri whenever I feel lonely.

sometimes I put my PS3 controller on my dick while its vibrating. I really love my PS3, it makes me feel good in many ways.

I sometimes glance outside my window from view 1, there is this guy that walks around his apartment in view 2 without a shirt on. You better believe I take a long glance before I no longer see him lol

I love my six pack so much, I make sure that it is well protected under a layer of fat.

I think many mass murderers just needed to get laid. Ladies you shouldn't discriminate against men who seem a little high strung, it's a slippery slope. They will just get worse if you don't give them some love. As a great man once said "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy". It's the same principle.

The problem with the N-word is that it connotes the slavery, the oppression, and discrimination black people have gone through. Used in contemporary lexicon by dim-witted teenagers, it is used only to disparage a black person, like cracker is used to disparage a white person, chink an Asian, and spik a Hispanic. These teenagers aren't implying racism by their use of the N-word. What we really need is new word without the history of the N-word. Any suggestions.

Seeing ice cream at 251 was the happiest I've been all semester.

Our university motto sucks. "Fatti maschii parole femine". Manly deeds womanly words. I have a better motto for Maryland. It is Hilbert's "Wir werden wissen, Wir mussen wissen". If you read a little about its context, it really captures a university's spirit.