I'm really glad that I go to UMD. We seriously have the best school. Have a great day, gladiators of knowledge!

When it's cold in the mornings, I like to dance in the showers to wake myself up

The closer I get to my period the hornier I am

I looked it up, turns out my hemorrhoids have fallen out, thanks guys for all your support!

I'm so attractive most girls don't try hitting on me because they all think I'm already taken.

So I was masturbating with an egg and I was just about to orgasm when all of a sudden my vag like sucked it up. It was like a vacuum, and not just a regular vacuum. It was like a hoover or dyson. So yea, my vag is a dyson. Anyways, I was scared as shit and tried to spent the entire night trying to queef out that egg but it wouldn't come out =/. So the other day I was playing basketball and the egg somehow fell out! =D...except in my ditch...I was too afraid to take it out or else people would think I was growing a penis or something...so I didn't take it out of my underwear until I got home and the egg was HARDBOILED!! My vag is a vacuum and a pot of boiling water!! It hardboiled an egg and I'm not even done! So I put the egg in the fridge in my room and the next day, my roommate was eating an egg salad sandwich!
...Should I tell my roommie? =/

I like making sexy explicit videos of my self and then when i watch them i can't help but masturbate to the sight of me. I know this is weird, maybe vain but i'm not trying to be! I could really cash in as a pornstar if i didn't have any self respect/morals...

Why can't we move into the 21st century with gender equality? It is long overdue that a man is crowned Miss America.