#3691 To the guy that was outside Ratsies last night dressed as a pickle: Your pickup lines were hilarious and you were mad cute even though you look like a 16 year old. Sorry for saying you had a small pickle ;)

#3690 Sometimes I like to hide my wife's inhaler so the neighbors think I'm amazing at sex when they hear her panting "Give it to me!"

#3689 I just wanted to make out with some random guy last night and I did it. :P Nothing great about this thing. It's just that it was my first time.

#3688 I secretly hate it when my friends ask me to go out with them each weekend and I have to say no half the time because I have work to do. Being an engineering major is really dulling my social life. I feel like every other major in the school can have fun and time to relax, since none of my friends ever have work to do, while I am always loaded with work.

#3687 I will drop whatever I'm doing to help a friend in need, but I never have the motivation to do things to better my own situation.

#3686 My balls look like two brains after coming out of a thirty minute shower.

#3685 Just wanted to make out with some random guy tonight and i did it.Fuck Yeah.

#3684 I believe that baseballs are the only real food group.