Had sex with this guy last night and he had the biggest dick I've ever experienced. I couldn't even fit it in my mouth. It was incredible :)

just took the most hugest dump of my life. my turds were like a foot long guys. Because I got the shits from eating at the union, I stunk up the McConnell Hall bathroom. Sorry neighbors!

pumpkin spice lattes are reserved for white girls only.

Sitting in a stall next to a guy who is fapping... Most awkward thing ever

I'm sick of going to the bars and listening to rap. I love going to the lumberyard but my friends aren't into country I need more friends who like two stepping and listening to country!! Where are you at!?

Casino Night = Success. Fun night at the Craps table;)

You know, life is weird. What happened to those primal instincts for survival? Think about it, now-a-days, we are usually told to run from an attacker and let others deal with them. If people were to just stand their ground and fight, they would prove they are worth living. And don't give me that bullshit "they aren't strong enough." When under severe stress the human body enters "survival mode" and can lift several tons and move faster than their attacker. But no, society has put the "flight" in the fight or flight response. Think about that next time you hear someone say they couldn't do anything about getting hurt.

I like myself more when I've had a few beers