If I don't find any of the candy eggs for Easter, theres gonna be rabbit stew for dinner

Confession:
I was giving head for the first time, and the guy was trying to make me deep throat. I ended up vomiting on his dick.
That's the last time I try oral sex again.

What's brown, sticky, and smells like syrup?

I'd give the people who walk, bike, or take the bus onto campus, a high five. Fuck the people who drive their vehicles onto campus. Super annoying seeing vehicles everywhere on campus.

Visiting my boyfriend in Flag and hearing the people above him pretending to be zoo animals and possibly farm animals? having sex. Been a good two hours listening to THAT go on.

Someone out there has jizz on their ass. I came on the bus.

sometimes i jump on my bed and make fake sex noises to make the people who live around me think i'm getting laid

man this is not what i imagined my college life to be.... i have no friends and sit in my room all day. i really wanna change this, i just don't know how to. If i could just make one good friend, id be the happiest man. i just need someone to take the leap and help me out.