Blowjob would be wonderful right now ya know

Freshman year here, I lived in the dorms. My next-door neighbor was an insufferable terror. She ruined my things, stole my clothing, was always screaming, and constantly ate my food without asking (my meal plan was limited due to stomach issues). Towards the end of the year, I adopted a habit of peeing in a bowl, and emptying it in the sink. After several days of doing this, I began putting food I was willing to part with in the bowl, and leaving it out. Of course, she'd come in and eat it. The moral of the story is this : If you steal my stuff, urine trouble.

I don't even know if I am religious anymore, I have sex, I don't go to church but I believe in a lot of it. Idk, it's just nice to feel what actual love feels like for once. And it's so much work to go to church and be judged.

Hope more people appreciate Bruno Mars now and listen to the rest of his songs other than those that have gone mainstream. He owned the stage during the half time show! #diehardbrunofansince2010

A few weekends ago there was this guy at Collins who was dressed very nicely. And he blocked these other guys hitting on us that were just plain creepy. Guys like you gives me hope about men. By the way I also liked that my friend to sleep with you (although I don't think you realized it), but innocently declined the offer.

Believe it or not for my New Year resolution I actually wanted to have more black friends. You guys are awesome!

I'm a straight girl and I am 10x better at anal than I am at vaginal sex. I didn't even need lube. My boyfriend is okay with this. Deal with it. I'm not even fat or unattractive.

Super bowl, the time when it suddenly becomes clear who is loud and obnoxious and most of all stupid.