I fingered my boyfriend while he was sleeping. he moaned out his brothers name. I'm single now.

i had a seizure in a jc penney fitting room. ended up peeing all over my self in a dress I was trying on. i came too, changed back into my clothes, and told my husband i was feeling shaky so i could run away.

I've tried pills (ineffective) and psychologists (they all agree with me in the end). The cure for depression is lying. The more you lie the less depressed you are. Reality can be created and destroyed.

There's nothing sexier than a girl who can make you laugh, is down to earth, has a sense of style, intelligent, passionate, independent, a girl who's aloof yet sociable, has dimples, and brings you food. And dimples again. Gotta love them dimples.

If any bitches start hitting on me during tequila sunrise, I'm just going to hand them my phone number. Not just because it's the gentlemen thing to do, I'd prefer dates rather than a hook up, and you avoid hoes dat way...... but this is a fucking college town. Ain't got the time or will to put up with the possibility of someone getting into my pants and then dealing with sexual assault or rape investigations/charges because they wake up next to someone with fucking anime posters and action figures up in their room and regret having done that. Gotta protect yourselves out there y'all both ways, especially when you're out at the bars doing things where people do stupid shit all of the time.

So I had sex with my professor yesterday!!! It was so hot. I went to his office to get tutoring, he put his hand on my leg and slid it up skirt. I opened my legs wider. He kiss me and fingered me. Then we had sex on his desk. It was amazing. Highly suggest a go at it

Apparently I can't order pizza from dominos anymore because I called one of their drivers an autistic ginger - which he totally looks like one.

Fat people should be taxed for being unhealthy and taking up too much space. The tax revenue can then fund odumacare seeing all these future diabetics will weigh the health care system down with their fatness and unhealthy lifestyles.