I often come to the conclusion that whenever someone gets judgmental of me and think that I've got an ego, it's more often than not just a personality clash. There's just some people that will never like you, and they're about worth as much as a fart on my own time.

FYI: the reason a person that has seen you naked before hangs out with you is because they still like you.

I can't stand roommates. This bitch needs to go. Doesn't wash her dishes. Doesn't clean up. Hides in her room all day. Eats shitty food. Complains about her boss and fights with him. Made me miss American Horror Story tonight. Mmhmm this bitch needs to go NOW!

To the bitch with the Lexus. I tried to do something nice and you make a bitchy ass remark?! Well, I'll touch your car, with my keys.

Hey pedestrians, us bikers do not want to hit you. Far be it, we want nothing to do with you. If you could not take up the entire sidewalk and not walk in bike lanes, we would appreciate that. We are just trying to not die on the road and not contribute to the co2 in the air. Thank you.

"bite off his dick with your vagina, show him ur the one in control as he bleeds out"

My girlfriend is awesome, so why do I think about breaking up with her all the time? It sucks because I know she's the best person I should be with but I just feel like I should be single for some reason.

I got bitchy yesterday about the singing because I am so damn sleep-deprived. I can't even take naps most the time :(