I have learned through careful experience that Cards against Humanity shows you who your real friends are.

Sometimes, the German language makes me giggle. Their word for "Ice cubes" literally translates into "Very cold water with corners".

I tried to make a universe once, but I accidentally gave it cancer.

I want to ask someone out by singing "Just haven't met you yet" by Michael Buble.

My manager referred to me as a "faggot" yesterday because he took a bad joke I made last year a little too seriously. It was all I could do to bite my tongue instead of ripping his out of his head, or respond with, "You're assuming that, even if I was gay, that you would be my type."

I will never understand the female obsession with Benedict Cumberbatch.

I like to say I'm not okay with gays because of my religion because of the whole shitstorm that follows.

I could truly not give a fuck otherwise.

P.S. It's not just the religious ones who are assholes, both sides have stupid, crazy people.

I got woken up from nap by my boyfriends coworker. She wanted me to sit and talk with her boyfriend because he believes the two of them might be screwing around. I talked to him and reassured him nothing was happening between them and then my boyfriend spoke to him and reassured him as well. Now im laying in bed crying because I actually think they might and I have no clue what to do. Am I just letting my self get sucked into his delusional thoughts or is reality finally dawning on me that my boyfriend might be being unfaithful.