I can't wait to go back to school. Summer break is always nice, but nothing can replace the special kind of joy I get out of watching underclassman squirm. It's going to be a good year, too; there's already been plenty of promising confessions forecasting some class A stupidity. #YouBringItOnYourselves

It isn't always the guys who get friendzoned by a girl. I'm a girl who just got friendzoned.

There is a girl that works a little Caesars who bought me my pizza because my card didn't work. It was seriously the nicest thing ever and I hope to redo that favor! Thank you and sorry that I didn't get your name!

My cum smells like fruity pebbles... i don't eat fruity pebbles...

That awesome moment when you realize you're sexy as shit with or without big boobs. :)

So for College im getting a pet. Ice been a giant reptile enthusiast since i was five and after im done with my 4 year degree in evolutionary biology i hope to work with animals. I know NAU's water-bound animal policy so ive gotten a Axolotl and honestly i cant wait to see the reaction on my roommate/RA's face.

I nicknamed my penis 'elbow' because it's flexible, hard, and my mom doesn't like it when I put it on the table at dinner.

If you don't party in college you're a pussy nerd.