I graduated in Spring '14. I am jealous of all of you returning to NAU. All the amazing experiences and great people i was privileged to spend my time with. I miss college so fucking much already.

That moment where you don't know if its a fart or the start of liquid fire and you let it out anyways during class and learn that it was not a fart.....

To the frat kids who thought I was a girl today:
Hope you enjoy your gender confused boner you womanizing dickheads!

I already fucking hate being single; not because I'm lonely or miss my ex, but because I hate the process of dating. Seems like all most guys care about is getting their dick wet. No, I will not sleep with you on the first, second, or even third date - you'd be lucky to even get a kiss. Yes, you will have to do some real courting if you want me to even start to take you seriously. Ugh. I thought these things were implied. I didn't realise I needed a fucking interview process just to figure out who's even worth talking to. -.-'

Don't waste water on the ice bucket challenge. And don't use squirt guns or pools because that's a waste of water too (and what are we teaching our children anyway?). And don't drink beer or soda (they're mostly water and not really necessary). And let's all start showering once a week to conserve water. And let's make those showers two minutes long. And let's not water the lawns. And let's send all of that water in a giant water package to Africa. Yep, that'll work. And by all means, when people start uniting to do something good lets look as hard as we can to see the flaws in their efforts. And let's point out that the video's are narcissistic on your FACEbook page... you know, that page where you post snarky comments to get attention from others.

Will work for alcohol, pot or food

That moment when you desperately want to believe that some sweet confession was about you, but know that it would never happen.

I have orgasms at the same time as my boyfriend on the daily. Sex is bomb. #reallove