To the curly haired chick, I want you forever. Unfortunately you have given that, if you know what I mean, to a lot of guys out here.

Saw a borderline hot chick wearing a thats what she said shirt today. Gotta say, made my day.

Is it just my BO or does everybody on the busses smell horrible?

So I lost my ID on my way to my res hall. When I reached the front, I asked two girls if they would open the door for me. They rolled their eyes at me and gave me dark looks. "Do you live in the building??" "Yeah." "Do you not have your ID??" NO! OBVIOUSLY! "No, I don't." Wow. I can't even say how insulted I am. First of all, you could be a little nicer! Second, it's like Mountain View isn't even my home. I just love how personal this school is.

I haven't shaved since I've been here because it know I'm not getting any..

To the asshole riding his bike down the hill to south, stick to the fucken right side when crossing the bridge, or at least attempt to move out of the way when people are walking. Hope you ate shit dick face

I pee in the shower everyday, and not just into the drain. I get on the floor, shove my penis into the hole, and pee into the drain on the other side of the neighboring shower.

Secretly want to drop out of school and give up on my career, but what else is new?