Sometimes people worry for me. They think I'm the kind of person that will go on a goddamn shooting spree and kill a bunch of people without provocation. What I don't have the heart to tell them is that if I'm going to kill someone, there will be no way in hell that they'll find the body. I'm a murder/mystery writer. I do my research.

Freshmen at this school are like Terms and Conditions, because I really don't give a fuck what they say.

I don't understand how 10 people can get off the bus, and then only three fit getting on. People can suck it up and get close for a five minute ride.

I'm not saying getting married young is a good idea or not (it is not for me to judge), but I dislike the argument that they are missing out on something. What are they missing, bad dates and risky one-night stands? STI tests and potentially bypassing your soul mate because you want to sleep around? How about actually getting to know someone and seriously dating them.

I could never cheat in a relationship...
That would involve two people being attracted to me, and I can barely find one.

To the chick who said she used a blanket... You're not the only one. I've been masturbating since about kindergarten! I used to use teddy bears because, hey, I was five. It wasn't until high school that I discovered my fingers. And peeing? Not just you, either. I have the most intense orgasms when I masturbate when I have pee! It's great. Don't feel weird. You're normal. Sexuality isn't complicated, it's just that we're taught not to talk about it. Be open, be free and fuck those who give you crap about it.

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. I can't have a normal orgasm anymore

Definitely saw a guy at granny's doing karaoke tonight! Whoever you are you were hot af! #thosedreadstho