As I guy, I find it worrisome that I have not orgasmed from sexual intercourse in the past two years. I can finish on my own, but I haven't with a partner.

People think that my sense of humor is non sequitur, but at least it's not as stupidly random and pointless as Family Guy.

Certain questions keep me up at night. Like whether the "S" or the "C" is silent in "Scent".

Dear sleeze ball, thanks for cheating on your girlfriend with me... Then telling me you love me.. Then blocking my number because you are trying to get her back. Once a cheater always a cheater. Karma is a bitch.

There are some people I friendzone. There are some people I snuggle-zone. There are some people I fuck-you-into-the-mattress-zone.

She's such a dork I want to punch her in the mouth with my mouth.

Having your period blood go through your underwear is probably the worst scare of a girl's life.

If you're my friend I will bend over backwards to help you whenever you need it! You need food? Take some of mine I can buy more! You need a night out? No problem I just got paid it's on me! You need to unwind? Let's go for a hike!
I do these things for my friends simply cause they are important to me and that they would do the same for me if ever I was in need :)