So, I'm jockeying for a specific job and they're supposed to call me this week for an interview. Everyone wish me luck. In fact, me getting this job will help one of you, as I plan hiring someone in need of a job to do housework and stuff. Nothing too crazy, maybe 3-4 hours a week, but the pay is great. $300-$500(depending on how reliable and good you are) a month plus dinner mon-fri. So, wish me luck.

The most satisfying part of being an author is seeing the looks of joy, fear, disgust, dismay, or any combination of the above when people ready your work.

One little thing that I'm really proud of is that, for a guy with very little experience, all of the partners I've gone down on tell me that I'm very good at cunnilingus.

I called in work because I have the flu & its my 3rd week as manager. I feel absolutely horrible & panicked like I should have gone but I work with kids...

I know this girl who got kicked out of her dorm for having a fucking lizard for a pet the bitched about it. It's your fault for having a pet you weren't supposed to have!

All I want is a pale, somewhat muscular, but big, ginger to treat me right.. Is that too much to ask for?

Honestly the only thing I really have to offer a girl if we dated is pizza, constant affection and free drugs...what more could a girl want?

To the beyond cute girl walking into the Dub on Sunday night that liked my Star Wars Pajama pants: I confess I might have attempted to get your number had I not already been on the phone.