Today at work I brought all the cute bitches cold Capri Suns. Ugly people got faucet water.

Professor: Can I see your homework? ?
Me: Haha no way loser do your own

If you are old enough to vote and you are too lazy to actually do it, you lose the right to sit around and bitch about the results.

Was walking to cline today and some dude riding by on a skate board called me a faggot. Sir, if you stumble upon this, it's 2016, being called gay or a faggot is no longer a valid insult. Grow up.

I go on Tinder to look for friends because that's a great place to do that.

Period.

Is it really necessary to bash someone for having sex and having fun? We're in college, not high school. Shouldn't people be a little more mature now? So what if I like to occasionally have a good dicking. College stresses me the fuck out sometimes, man.

I miss a girl I use to date. She was amazing and I was always busy and wish I had more time for her before she left for the summer. I said I didn't want anything serious at the moment, but I didn't tell her I eventually wanted to. She ended up finding someone else during the summer and is going to to get married if she hasn't already. I still miss her so much everyday and I wish I could tell her, but I don't want to ruin our "friendship"..