When a guy is an obvious man whore but still expects you to be tripping over him. Boy, you were a little bitch from the begining. Why do you think I never gave you a second thought?

Man my relationship is getting serious, my girlfriend finally accepted the Flying Spaghetti Monster as her Ladel and Seievior. I can finally propose to her after graduation.

There is only one reason to support Trump, and ironically it is the same reason for Sanders: They both say what they think is right. Sanders wants to set precedent and Trump wants to violate our constitution but they both have the same admirable trait. Previous administrations, going back almost to Johnson have done what is in their own best political interest, not what is in their mind. A candidate that doesn't bow to the establishment is better than one who does. I'm voting 1. Sanders. 2. Trump 3. Hillary

My car has a really loud exhaust and I like to drive it through the parking garage when I'm frustrated about something and set off everyones car alarms. It's very calming:)

This is both a social experiment and an enormous opportunity for students to make some money. I am majoring in Biochemistry; however, I have counted 22 credits on my major map that are some kind of humanities, which has absolutely nothing to do with the field of biochemistry. They are both wastes of my money and especially time. I come from a very wealthy family, and am willing to pay someone to go to these humanities classes for me. Write my name on papers, show up for attendance, basically you will pretend to be me. I am willing to pay a pretty penny for someone to do this, so post on here your qualifications, and I might message you with this job opportunity. Also post the amount of money that you would be willing to take. I'll start my offer at $1000 per class. Any takers?

What would you do if you found a vibrator in your frat brother's gym bag?

My roommate loves to talk about how stressful it is paying rent. She doesn't know that I know she doesn't pay shit and the money comes from fafsa/scholarships.

That awkward moment when your roommate asks you to duct tape her to a chair because it relaxes her. Well I guess I got nothing better to do anyway.