Slack lining is the most ridiculous sport. Everyone who slack lines are such fake hippies. You are all in college on trust funds and your parents pay for everything so stop pretending to be so deep and spiritual. Find a real sport.

There is a ginger guy at The Suites that is really turning me on, I wanna know who you are, stranger...

To the two assholes in cowboy hats driving the POS truck, thank you for proving just how small your dicks are as you repeatedly went out of your way to slow up traffic just so you could blow your gross, dark cloud of exhaust fumes on me and the pedestrians on the sidewalk.

Hate to tell you, but it's nowhere near "sooooo cooollllddddd" yet. Sorry Californians. Enjoy your stay.

My roommate is the Biggest bitch I've ever met. The first few weeks I tried being nice to him but despite my attempts this little fucker has not said a word to me the entire year. It's so fucking annoying, he's a reclusive little shit, and only makes noise when he's eating, I want to beat the living shit out of him. And I don't care what you other sensitive little bitches say about this. There's a difference between shy, and fuckhead bitch.

I've started talking to this girl and I'm really starting to like her. She was going to come with me and my friends to The Purge Anarchy but she apparently chickened out and basically stood me up. I want to see her but I don't want to have to go through the sadness again. What the hell do I do?

Just realized I was drunk enough at one point on Halloween that I was solely referencing people as their costume names and wasn't even bothering to get their names.

I torture myself by looking at pictures of tattoos that I can't get yet.