This is how I do stuff!! Totally not a brag but some ppl need to learn how to be nice. I saw a girl the other day on the bus with her shoes laces untied. I warned her about it, and when she was about to tie 'em up I bent down and did it for her.
This is how we should act and show love each other as people disregarding everything like skin color and backgrounds.
I am a black guy and she was a white. But this didn't mean a thang to me when I did her the favor. Let's grow better & get equal

Jimi Hendrix was black, and he had big teeth and a huge afro. And if he were alive today, I would suck both of his dicks... Do you understand? I'm not saying that I even know that he had two dicks, but I'm saying I would suck his dick and then when I was done if he said : ''Now suck THIS ONE. This is my OTHER dick. Suck this one too.'' I would say : "Dude, I'm sucking it.''

That awkward moment when you get into an awesome show for free but you miss the first half hour giving birth to the food baby you conceived on Thanksgiving. -_-

Pain is hearing your mother saying it's going to be alright, and knowing she doesn't believe it.

Today, it occurred to me that while most of us have been pigging out on Thanksgiving food for the last 24+ hours and we look forward to this holiday for all the food that gets made and we get to eat, the people that face eating disorders probably dread this holiday. So I just wanted to say I'm sorry to those that don't get to enjoy it like the majority of us do.

I hate alcoholics more than I hate stoners. You win this one, stoners.

I have an unhealthy obsession with a vampire who argues with a sentient piece of gum.

I'm a girl. And I'm completely naked, right now. This weird. Shouldn't someone like come fuck me already? (Waits for the thirst comments)