I master-bated in every building on campus, just waiting for the new ones to be completed now.

I want nothing more than to live off of pizza and hot pockets .-.

I saw a girl wearing a t shirt today with "Team Lesbian" printed across it. I definitely wanted to compliment the shirt but didn't want to offend her for however my tone may have been perceived because I'm a guy. Either way, badass shirt woman!

I really hate that awkward phase of just starting to date where you can't tell if the person is really into you, still testing the waters, or is a goner. Like, everything is going great during the dates, but then there's just an awkward phase of little to no communication.

Guys, just for winter, can you not care if us ladies have hairy legs? Sincerely, a girl trying to get laid while staying warm.

Admit it... you farted in the class. I know it was you. Don't make me point the finger at you.

My boyfriend likes to brag when girls hit on him. Good for you babe. Little do you know how many more guys hit on me. I'm just not the bragging type like you. Should I start?

I want imperfect gods as my gods. yes i want zeus the man whore, poseidon the slightly less man whore, and hades the niece rapist as my god.