I wear high waisted pants because if I wear low waisted pants my tummy rolls over when I sit. #lifehacktohidingfatrolls

Valentines day. Every single one of my crushes has a boyfriend....Dam you straight girls for reeling a lesbian like myself under your spell. Any one want to watch movies with me in my room and cry together :)

I don't follow this page just for the confessions, I follow because the comments left on posts, truly crack me up!!!

I like to pull the bus chord more than once.

So today I was telling my friends that I was raped over the weekend. I was drinking at a friends place and passed out at her place. I woke up to find a girl on top of me and my D in her. She responded with,"oh! You're awake?!" Than this feminist cut into the conversation saying,"it's impossible for a woman to rape a man!!!" To which I responded with,"Did I consent? No! Was it against my will? Yes! Then that constitutes as rape!" Stupid Feminst!

I drink milk straight out of the jug and I am legitimately terrified that my roommates will find out. Like I panic ingle jet all the doors and rooms to see if anyone is home and that they are locked in their room first if they are.

I don't smoke and I'm not gay, I've never done either of these. Yet I keep having dreams of smoking and having sex with transexuals.... They feel so real but they're not what I want. Are these desires that keep haunting me? I'm so confused.

I slip my roommate Benadryl every night so I don't have to worry about him waking up while I jack off.