Okay that guy on the NAU freshman page doing the Jesse pinkman impersonation is so hot

I arrange my pillows against my back when I sleep because I miss being the little spoon.

There's a study that showed that if a person maintains eye contact with another person for at least 7 seconds, then they either want to fuck or kill them. If that's the case, then I want to fuck or kill a lot of people.

I make a lot of references that people don't get, and I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with people saying that I need to stop making references that they don't get. Don't tell me how to live my life.

Sometimes I like to give myself reverse wet-willies. I just love the taste of my own earwax but I'm afraid to let other people know. I just want to know that I am not alone.

Despite being officially American, I have spent a majority of my life overseas. I am completely out of place. Dating culture here is so much different, and really all I want is a cute, low maintenance girl to relax and enjoy my time here with. Sex is obviously a plus.

People aren't going to get my Halloween costume, which means that, since I'm essentially going to be a Reaver, I'm going to probably get in a lot of trouble if I get in character.

I am sometimes really annoyed by the stupid shit I hear people say. It makes me just want to stand up, go across the room, and rest a finger on their lips while I shake my head.