Watching everyone during Tequila Sunrise just made me realize how ready I am to graduate. It's a little sad how many people look forward to getting shitty, puking in random places, having sex with someone you'll never see again and ending it all by crying about how your parents never hugged you. Is this seriously the next generation of people are going to run our country, teach our kids, save lives, invent new things?

I sometimes wonder if Skrillex's mother yelled at him for dropping the bass. "YOU PICK THAT BASS UP RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN, OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!"

Thinking about making out with my best friend gets me off more than the hottest porn. Too bad she's a lesbian.

Lemme put it like this: I "friendzone" guys to 1. See how they react. If you give me that whiny "boohoo this bitch friendzone a me" crap, then you just lost all possible chance you did have with me. 2. So I can figure you out first! Relationships are sort of a big deal to me, I'm not gonna jump into uncharted waters when I can map out the area first. If that takes too long for your tastes, then go try again with someone else, idc. Just know that if you keep the self entitlement to every broad you confess to, I've got some news for you: you might go from "friendzoned" to "forever alone".

One of the girls next door has been going at it all night and now morning. I know this because the bitch doesn't know how to be quiet. I played "I just had sex" when they finished. You're welcome.

I had sex with my roommate's bf. I was pretty drunk and I only recall him having one drink. I don't know whether to feel bad about my roommate or bad for myself. I felt taken advantage of. I let it go. Just hope it doesn't happen again.

I could spend everyday with this man... I don't want to come back to college.

I just fucked a girl in a laundry closet at the castle. yolo!