I don't understand american commercials. Why does it tell me I may need this medication? Or tells me to ask my doctor if I need it? Really? Doctors tell us what medications we may need, not the television.

It's hilarious that your stores provide electric scooters for obese people to buy more food. I always thought that was a joke. But I had to take photos and share them with my friends back home because honestly, Mercia. Bwahaha

My roommates think my nations snack food is "cute" because they're all tiny and they make comments about how we must love tiny things. No, we don't eat tiny things, americans just eat large amounts. Literally, one american serving could feed five people. And if five people were eating normal american servings of food, you could feed a small village.

So I realized by talking to my exs to try and find out why our relationships didn't work. They all said similar things. What shocked me was that they were the same reasons why my mother divorced my father, and that hit me hard. And I realized that I'm almost doing the same with my current girlfriend...

you know we love it, we're fat, we're lying in bed...I'll put a doughnut on my dick while you're giving me head. That's right! I only sleep with big mommas, and I'm a skinny white boy...mmm girl, shake dat foopa!

Cheating is cheating, whether it be emotional or physical. Whether you're flirting or attempting to catch the attention of another or straight up fucking them. You're a cheater. So to all my brothers and sisters that have been in this position: Chin up, keep moving forward. Show the universe that one person will never bring you down. You don't have to be okay now, but some day, you will. Smile, let them feel the regret of loosing something beautiful and strong. Work on loving yourself and you'll realize that they were never worth the pain.

And to my ex and the individual that cheated on me and shattered my world, you two deserve each other. Two blind and spineless people deserve to be together. And I know I'm worth more than what you both put me through.

A list of things I wasn't expecting in college:


1. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to leave before my roommate starts masturbating...

2. Is everyone a kleptomaniac?

3. People. Riding. Scooters.

ATTENTION GIRLS: please stop apologizing for every little thing. I round a corner and you're like ten feet away from me and you apologize. For what? We didn't bump into each other or anything. I know it seems polite or some shit, but it's not necessary. I'm entering a building through the doorway and you open the door from inside and exit, seeing me as you pass and you're like "sorry!" Again, for what? Seriously, stop saying sorry for every little thing. Guys don't.