Look I know you just want to fuck me and if you just said that I'd be okay with it, just tell me straight up. I want to be with someone and I want to be loved and I seriously doubt you can give that to me so maybe we should stop while we're ahead so you can find what you want and I can find what I want.

To the asshole who took my iphone 5s from the gym on tuesday, your a fucken dick. Hope Karma gets your ass.

So my girlfriend doesn't trust me at all. Whenever I am not with her she thinks I am cheating on her. I need her to trust me and I doubt she ever will. I tell her that I would never cheat on her and that I love her, but my word isn't good enough. I need a girlfriend that will trust me. Any suggestions on how I should go about breaking up with her?

To all the non-smokers don't be a dick and call the cops, we don't do that to you guys when you drink underage! Thanks!

I really want some friends that enjoy anime from Attack on Titan to Ouran High School Host Club without being crazy and obsessive about them.

Everyone's a fucking DJ. If all you do is make shitty mixes (without producing anything) and press play, you're not a fucking musician.

That would be sick if NAU could pool together a small percentage of each year's tuition income every year, so in the future they can build a giant concrete wall surrounding the campus to block the fucking wind.

I took a shit in the library bathroom and didn't flush. #TooManyTacos