I've never been drunk before.
For some reason, sober brain thought that the night before an 8am final was the appropriate moment to experience this delightful phenomenon.
And drunk brain says "Thank God for autocorrect."

My roommate caught me trying to ejaculate in his shampoo.

This is the worst finals week I've will have in all 4 years of my time at Fox. I might be able salvage my grades if I don't sleep all week, and then on top of that I have to watch all my freshmen buds that I came in with graduate and be finished while I still have a semester to go. Just... not a happy week for me >.<

Imma start taking antler pills so that I can put the team on my back doooeeeeee

I'm about to take a dump on Uly's car cause its lookin too fresh

#yolo

So stressed for finals I can't even study.

I don't tend to complain to others but the girls on my floor specifically three girls always talk about how penis look, how to have organisms on the phone, and more more and more about penises! Really makes me think they are sexually frustrated! No one talks about penises that much especially if you claim y'all are Virgins! Just stop please !

I need a life.