I don't have a date for Homecoming and I feel that i won't get asked out by any guy...

While at Fox, I bought a moped. But, I paid cash, and never told the guy I bought it from my name.

Then, because I didn't want to pay Fox for a parking permit and then be restricted to parking in certain lots and subject to ticketing for stupid reasons, I never transferred the title. I spent two years driving through the canyon and parking wherever I wanted with impunity. Later I heard security spent a lot of time trying to figure out whose moped kept parking at the bike racks outside edwards. It was like having diplomatic parking immunity.

For another part of my time at Fox, I possessed a, ahem, "repurposed" employee parking permit. I used that quite a bit in my car.

I broke into the bon at night many, many times. I would steal bags of cereal and whatever other items were left out and take them back to use at my apartment.

Speaking of the bon, they leave the fridge out back unlocked during the day. If you're quick, you can run in and grab a 5 gallon bucket of ice cream. Strawberry is the best flavor for ice cream snowballs.

The gators used by plant services have a fuel cutoff switch in a hidden but easily accessible location. If you flip the switch, the gator won't start. It's easily fixed by turning the switch back on, but you wouldn't know that unless you've had to do it before.

At the beginning of every year, when the new batch of freshman were busy driving gators around for plant services, I would turn off the fuel cutoff switch on every gator I walked past.

I used to eat A LOT of food at the bon. Like, I would get two full trays for breakfast. A few hours after one of these meals and several cups of coffee later, I had to take a world-class massive dump. This turd would be a destroyer of worlds. I was living in Lewis, but I didn't want to unleash the beast in my own bathroom.

So, I went over to the VAC and slipped into the faculty only bathroom. But the story doesn't stop there. Before I shat, I clogged the toilet with paper. Then I took a dump the size of a large cat into a clogged toilet. Rude? Sure. Hilarious? Youbetcha.

(sorry custodial staff)

At night, I'll either wear a tank top or if it has sleeves, I'll roll them up, even if it's in the dead of winter! I just like the feeling of my soft comforter and fluffy snowy owl pillow pet against the bare flesh of my arms!

I don't get the whole vegan thing. You can't eat anything good

With Newberg being the 4th safest city in Oregon, I'm baffled by the constant amount of sirens going off around town.