I am starting to hate Halloween because this is the second year in a row that I have lost a close family member the day after Halloween.

I have all these friends who are couples and it stinks seeing them cuddle up with each other while i am just by myself. I wish i could have a guy who i can cuddle up with and talk to, laugh with and hold hands with like how i used to in the past. I have been feeling really depressed lately and it doesn't help with my friends kissing and cuddling in front of me...

Yesterday my boyfriend who i have been with for four years in high school asked to just be friends. Part of the reason why was because he couldn't handle the long distance and being so worried but the main reason irritated me. He said it was to find new people in our lives and about a week ago he asked for a break (not a break up) and what was he doing that whole time? Looking for other girls to date! I love him so much and he changed so much since college by losing his virginity to a girl while we were still dating, doing hooka for the first time, drinking, partying and forgetting about god and that are the many reasons why i was ok with the break up. But a part of me is worried about being single and alone again. I want someone who will always be there for me in good times and bad. Someone who will not be afraid to show their true personality and who will always make me laugh and be affectionate. I just want a godly guy that completely adores me and loves me and wants the world with me and is a family man because I am so very insecure about myself that i fear no one will love me and if they do, my heart will just get broken again. I know god will pick the right man for me one day but now in this time of hurt, i just have to be patient...

Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of over 2 years. It was the hardest desicion of my life. But I could tell he wasn't happy and would forget to text me and call me all the time. We only ever saw each other on the weekends and he was always just coming over to my house and just falling asleep. These past 6 months he chose his work over God, me, his family and his friends. He is sick and tired all the time because he works late most nights. I love him so much and miss him and I want him back so badly... But I know he is no longer the same person he was and I wanted to give him the time to straighten out his life and find what he truly wants in his life. My confession though? I am terrified about being alone. I have really never been alone and it's especially hard during this time of year. I also transfered out of Fox this year to a state school because I could no longer afford George Fox. I am heart broken, at a school that I really don't want to be at. My goal and passion in life is to be able to get married and have a huge family and be part of a church and the community. I want to be the stay at home mom so badly. I want a godly guy that completely adores me and loves me and wants the world with me. And I will give back %100. I just pray and hope that this pain will go away so I can focuse on God finally and get my life togther. And hopefully from that, God will put the perfect guy in my life.

Is it bad that I've masterbated everyday for the past 3 years..sometimes multiple times a day. i don't think so. i consider it a mental detox

When I go to chapel Im going to ask a cute girl for her number by opening with "Hey, you come here often"..

I once wrote a two-page post-breakup love letter composed entirely of lyrics from Taylor Swift. It was surprisingly coherent. Never sent.

I am realy stressed out cuse I am trying to drop a class but the hold on my account hasn't been dropped yet and I emailed the person I was supposed to Friday.