Tonight at chapel there was a guy wearing a Reagan Bush '84 shirt. I look for you every chapel. Not in a creeper way, more in a give me a ring by spring kinda way. #smitten

I work my hardest and use my art to let people know I care about them, and that they matter to me or that I am grateful for the ways that they have touched my life, but I often find myself in doubt.

I sometimes doubt the message was communicated the best it could have been.
I often fear that the gifts I pour my heart into might make someone I care about think less of me for trying to communicate it that way.

I really like attention from the people I love. I don't expect anyone to make me their priority, but I'd like to be given some time to share my feelings with them, even if it's as short as 5 minutes.
As much as I like to give gifts, your attention and love is probably the best gift you could give me.

Sometimes I wish I was better at loving.

As a graduate of George Fox University, I'm completely enraged by the duplicitous nature that nearly every individual at Fox lives with. My time spent at George Fox was filled with keeping appearances and full of distrust. I had my closest friends, who were the few people who knew the actual me, and then there were the rest--the "enemies" (pathetic, right?). However, I thought that was just the nature of being a 'Party Kid' at a school like Fox. And so I continued my time in that manner, enjoying my weekends and working to do well in school at the same time (yes, it is possible, despite the alcohol and THC saturated brain cells). However, I've recently discovered that it extends far beyond that. As a graduate, I've noticed that even the alumni don't really act themselves outside of Fox anymore. I recently went to reach out to a small group of alumni and staff (who weren't my closest friends, but I still considered them an important part of my growth and experience) from my major to ask for advice and assistance regarding a project I was conducting for my job. Sadly, I received no help at all and not even a single reply explaining why they couldn't help me (a process I'm sure takes less than five minutes). Even more recently, I reached out to a few other alumni looking for business contacts in the Portland area, only to be rudely shoved off without any help at all (at least I got replies this time). While there are several explanations for their actions, the likely ones aren't very pretty and happen to be very telling of this GFU cultural weakness. I am not without blame either. The habits I formed at Fox have been hard to break and I often find myself having to consciously think about being myself with Fox students, staff, and alumni, especially since there is nothing to be feared anymore. With that said, I don't think I can wholeheartedly support such a school where they preach "collectivism and community" and have a slogan stating 'Be Known', when the actions of its 'collective community' are obviously louder to the contrary. I look forward to the day when I can give this rant AT Fox TO the students, staff, and alumni. Hopefully then things might change. But until then, I will have to send my dispensable income somewhere better.

One thing I really hate about my roommate is that she is always studying. She doesn't talk to me or even let me talk to her. I understand that school work is important but I fell like she shuts off the room to anyone coming in unless they are her friends. It is my room too! And then to top it all off she does not communicate with me so she always seems pissed off! Is it possible to get a new roommate because we just are not clicking!

Sometimes I'll go into the Lemons bathroom to poop. When people come in, I pause until they leave. I can usually out sit another person if they come in to do the same, but not today. We are both being quiet and we just shared a secret bond poop. So thank you mysterious woman!

Sometimes I imagine presidential elections being decided by Pokemon battles.

Sometimes, don't understand why I can't get the athletic type of girl. Ain't entitled to it, that's for sure, but for some reason I find it harder to flirt with them or even get their attention when I'm single. Just a reflective thought on my past, but I love my gf so don't get me wrong. Just a thought