I'm so desperate I'd hook up with a shoe if I knew it could consent.

My roomate gave me insomnia.

I'm starting to recognize people by their coughs. This wasn't what I had in mind when I wished for superpowers back in 3rd grade.

I steal things from tdr to avoid spending money #helpmeimpoor

The first few weeks of school we all hung out and I thought it was great, that I was making friends, and that it was going to be an awesome year. But as time went on and backs were turned I started to feel more alone than I had before I met you all. All I wanted was to be a friend, and I could have been if only you guys let me in. Stating the obvious and stating the false, both ways to incite a response. I feel a little more empty inside, like I've lost a bit of myself every time I tried.

I'm done now, I can't be bothered anymore. I've lost my best friend and my brother at once, I've spent the best years of my life in the dark. I know pain, I know darkness, and I know despair. My childhood home was sold because my family couldn't pay for it anymore. Chronic migraines punctuated my teenaged years. Did I ever let something like that tear me down? Hell, I thrived when I should have drowned. I was a peer tutor, a leader of phi theta kappa, an ambassador of my school's honors program, an executive officer of the student government. I've spoken in front of hundreds of people a number of times, and I've earned the largest scholarship for transfers in the country.

I have always struggled with friends, never really having them until just a little while ago. I confess that I am not perfect, that I often make a fool out of myself. I always blurt the first thing that comes to mind, and the specter of dysnomia haunts me every now and again. I am guilty of being a fool, guilty of presenting myself as less than I am. And on top of that, I am guilty of trying to be your friend.

I still know this year will be awesome. I'll stumble, I'll trip, and I know I'll fall. But hey, that's life. I'll make even if I have to crawl.

I have never been one to hate, and while my words may judge people, my heart never does. I am slow to anger, quick to forgive, and quicker to forget. I have been tempted to write this before, and started at least twice, but I have always held back. This being anonymous means nothing to those who know me, but to those that do I sincerely wish you guys the best. Even if it was one sided, and even if it was only for a few weeks, I felt like we were friends. From someone who has never had close friends apart from their siblings, I would never wish anything bad to happen to them. I was wrong and misinterpreted the relationships between us, this is not on you guys.

This is just me confessing that in spite of my triumphs and how far I have come, I am still in many ways just a fool.