#1550 My girlfriend wears the same bra all the time. Its a nude colored one and that's it. Ive told her that I like ones with lace and ones that are a little more provocative but to no avail. #LaceItUpBabe

#1550 Dear girl who I won't name,

Next time a guy starts talking to you with the intention of dating you, instead of giving him some bull shit story about how you have too much going on for him in your life to be anything more than friends, just straight up tell him you're not interested if you're not. That will save him some trouble and some pain. I am writing this now because I know you have a guy, or at least that you've been giving someone an actual chance. That's obviously disappointing for me knowing you weren't being honest, and the truth is you were the first girl that I was really interested in being something more with in a very long time. Even though I hardly knew you, I could already tell I would've done almost anything for you and treated you exactly how a girl wants to be treated. Anyways, next time a guy comes around just be completely straight with him, it makes things a lot easier.

#1547 So last semester I was doing really really bad in one of my classes. When it came down to the end of the semester... I didn't know what else to do. I had already withdrawn from most of my classes and the university wouldn't let me withdraw from anymore!!! So, the only logical decision was to use what God gave me. I slept with my professor, and let me tell you, it was THE BEST! In the end, I passed with a D! I was so proud of myself! :) I'm in the same situation right now this semester as well. Oh well... round 2 I guess?...

#1545 I'd fuck one of my profs for a solid B at this point. I'm so over this semester.

#1540 At the downtown McDonald's Last Night I was drunk and accidentally poured a cup of sprint onto a black guy... I just want to Sincerely apologize to you, I feel incredibly bad for that and you where not my intended target nor was the entire cup suppose to spill on you! SO SORRY! :(

I would love to ravish a women with her nether regions pierced.

#1532 I'd be lying if I said I didn't thoroughly enjoy the shirtless basketball players at the gym everyday. Thank you, guys. The gays appreciate it.

#1533 I fart in the freezer at work, do a little "air it out" shake and go back to the kitchen. Don't act like you've never.