#902 wanna know what's harder than telling your mom that you're pregnant? telling your mom that you're pregnant and don't know who the baby daddy is

#901 Is it bad that my goal for this Valentines Day is to just make it through without being kissed?? Welcome to my life where there are to many potential boyfriends and all I want to do is hide. FML

#900 The girl in the room next to me is constantly having sex and I know this because the walls in Lourdes are paper thin and she's a screamer. Her famous saying is "fuck me daddy" it's really awkward, like do you know that people can hear you... Do you care... Idk... I mean get it girl, but......really can you hush it down a little....

#898 All I want in a guy is someone who's funny (and punny), likes to have fun (anything from a night out to building with Legos to sports like snowboarding or soccer) and isn't just looking for a hook up. Yes I like my nerdy boys. But because I'm pretty attractive/athletic they assume I want some big brauny football player and don't bother with me. Come on guys, don't be shy.

#897 I am a very feminine straight man, and that has caused many problems for me. In high school everyone thought I was gay, because of this I began to dress differently and intimidate my classmates for judging me. This semester I began to feel like no women would ever take me seriously, because I’m too soft, and caring, as well as not being as “manly” as the football players, and frat boys at this school. Because of that I began to believe I was gay. After figuring things out I know for sure that I am straight. But even now I still try to intimidate people because I’m afraid of them judging me, and I still doubt any women will accept me for who I really am.

#895 One day I was scrambling to meet the bus on West, when I tripped on the stairs and caught myself. The bus driver could see me through the window, and smiled at me as I got on the bus. Now every time he's driving the bus he smiles at me because he recognizes me as that kid that fell on the stairs.

#894 My roommate smells like a barnyard animal.

#896 Dear Winona Residents,
I wish to confess one of my greatest accomplishments of all time. Recently I had a voluptuous 34 year old woman come over to my dorm. However she had one stipulation: she was going to be the dominant one and I had to do whatever she said. I agreed and thank The Lord almighty I did. She handcuffed me to the bed and blindfolded me only to proceed to drop hot lotion on me and rub it all over me. After she put that hot oil she proceeded to blow my brains out (still blindfolded and cuffed). She then uncuffed me and we fucked everywhere: the lovesack, counters, against the wall. And it ended with her getting eaten out and squirting on the floor. she then drove me to work where she let it slip she had a son my age. I then sat there thinking if I had an Oedipus complex but then my mind went back to "hey I just fucked a hot milf"

Sincerely,
Winona state motherfucker