I need more people in my life that know how to party each week ...

I watch porn every day like 3 times a day #noshame#girlsgonnahate

I like my roommate; more than I could ever admit to anyone. But I know he's been with a lot of people and I don't know how I feel about that. But if he kissed me... I don't think I'd ever want him to stop.

Whenever I see all the college girls wearing short shorts/spandex shorts and tight shirts, I have an urge to attack and force myself inside of them

I got in a fight last weekend behind the pickle. I'm not sure if the other guy is ok because I stomped on the back of his neck when he was laying on the ground

To the girl standing out side of rays about 10:15 on Friday (8/15) you were talking to some guy in a bro tank in sorry for checking you out with that curly hair and those skin tight pants

If there is any girl that can put back a six pack, sing along to my guitar, cheer me on while I play Madden, play with my puppy, and go on a morning jog with me. If such a maiden exsists she can expect back massages, foot rubs, serenades, picnics, lullabies, and of course an adorable chocolate Labrador.

One day our kids will earn about Ferguson in history class, and they aren't even giving it news coverage now.