#4107 I'm a guy and my ideal sex life would consist of living with a bisexual man and straight woman. He has a huge penis and we both worship it together. She can have sex with him when she wants and I can have sex with her when we want to. But ideally we all have sex together. We never kiss though. I am a 28 year old virgin because I have never been able to make the fantasy a reality.

#4106 I'm not angry because I enjoy anger, but because it's easier to be angry at dumb things than to admit that the people you care about have let you down and disappointed you on the deepest level.

#4105 I can't help but hate my roommate for this. Her and her boyfriend have sex a lot. That's cool I don't care. But she's had more than a few close calls with getting pregnant. It pisses me off because I know that she'd probably get an abortion if she actually did get pregnant and yet they keep having unprotected sex. This is why I'm pro-life. Because dumbass teenagers/college students don't know how to use protection and then the child who results from that has to suffer for their stupid, selfish mistakes. My roommate has had too many close calls but she just doesn't fucking learn.

#4103 Not so much of a confession as much as me venting. We all know someone like this. I lost one of my best friends do to him having a shitty, elitist antisocial attitude. Basically if something he likes became popular (even amongst our group of friends) he would stop liking it. From movies, music, tv shows ect he just had to rally against anything everyone else liked seemingly just for the sake of doing it. I remember back when the avengers came out in theatres we all planned on going and he refused so go and called us all sheep for simply wanting to see what I thought was a cool movie most people would like to see. He became so impossible to work with a far as getting together with everyone and hanging that we all kinda drifted apart. He used to be my best friend but now I have no idea where he is or what he is doing. I would say I regret not staying in touch but I honestly did everything I could to include him but he was just such a prick about everything I honestly really don't regret cutting ties. You know, I don't always like seeing a certain movie with everyone or going to a certain bar but sometimes you gotta take one for the team if you want to be with friends and that's the essence of friendship. It's not what you're doing is who you're doing it with.

#4104 I never realized how much the legendary peanut butter and jelly sandwich meant to me until I went to college.

Going to college means eating on the cheap. I've learned firsthand how quickly you can drain a bank account ordering the stereotypically collegiate delivery pizza night after night, so the cafeteria quickly became a necessity as I had little to no food stocked in my dorm because I did not believe I would be needing it. That was a mistake on my part, and so to right it, I began to visit the cafeteria more frequently than I ever had before. I remain thankful that I did not have to live in a dorm that had no cafeteria.

On one of my many trips, I noticed that the Bruce cafeteria had a sandwich station which had (until now) skirted my vision somehow. I decided that, yes, a sandwich DOES sound like a nice change of pace, but what kind of sandwich did I want? Moreover, what kinds of sandwiches did they offer?

I approached the metal counter and scanned the glass that separated me from the cafeteria worker for options, and the classics were all there: turkey, ham, salads (both chicken and tuna), american cheese, swiss, provolone, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions, all served on your choice of white or wheat bread with a "just-right" amount of chips on the side.

I appreciate a good sandwich bar.

The choices seemed endless, and the sandwiches looked great, however, I wasn't exactly in the mood for anything fancy, so to speak. I was feeling a tad homesick, and was subconsciously yearning for my childhood. I asked the man behind the counter if they served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He replied with an affirming, "You want that on white or wheat?"

I smiled. At that point I was only just realizing how long it had been since I last indulged in the pleasure of a PB&J. Clearly, I thought, it had been far too long.

The man handed me my sandwich and it almost looked like something out of a movie, almost as if the mother from Big had made it special for her son. I was beside myself. I quickly found a table and filled two glasses to the brim with milk and began what was, by all means, a heartwarming and satisfying meal. But after the first bite, I knew something was wrong.

There was simply too much jelly, at least for my taste. I took a few more bites, but ended up scraping a lot of the jelly off and mourning the lack of sufficient nut butter and, all in all, I emerged from the experience a tad jaded. I was not disappointed in the sandwich nor had I any hard feelings for the man who made it for me. I was upset because I knew exactly how I wanted it made, and the cafeteria worker simply did not.

And then I had an epiphany.

I will always contend that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the most personal and intimate experience anyone can have while eating food. It's such a plain recipe (almost deceivingly so), but only YOU know exactly how you want it made. If you've ever had a PB&J made by someone who isn't you, it just isn't the same: the amount of peanut butter and/or jelly is wrong. The crust is on, but you prefer no crust at all. They made it on white bread, but you like the taste of whole wheat (Hell, some people eat it straight from the jars!).

So much can go wrong when you leave the fate of such a seemingly simple sandwich in the hands of someone who isn't you. Only you know how you like your sandwich, and you knew exactly what it should look like from the first time you were able to make one yourself.

Consequently, if you can find someone who understands you enough to know innately how your particularly perfect PB&J should be made, I implore that you marry them as soon as possible.

Now, you could say this is analogous to life, to which I would reply that, yes, I suppose it IS a metaphor for how you should view life and the choices you make, but, you forget that I am a simple man with somewhat simple tastes. I am a man who knows how he wants his sandwich made and will accept no substitutes.

The pure, unadulterated joy of a perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich will always trump a five-course dinner at an expensive restaurant because it's the one meal that we, as people, never seem to stop eating. When I'm fortunate enough to be around when my father is home, undoubtedly I will look to the kitchen table some time around lunch and see him knee-deep in a week-old copy of the Dallas Observer, mouth full of peanut butter and half a sandwich left on his plate. I know that it's one of the small joys in his life. And I can guarantee you that he knows EXACTLY how he wants his sandwich made.

This may all seem silly, and I guess it kind of is. I mean, jeez, I've basically written a damn essay detailing why I think PB&J sandwiches are rad. But step back for a second:

There is so much in the universe that lays outside of our control and even more that lays far beyond our grasp. The world can be a dark and scary place sometimes.

But there will always be peanut butter and there will always be jelly and there will always be bread. And as long as we have a wonderful experience to be had, we'll have it; life is somewhat brighter because of it, and because of all the other seemingly minute beauties hidden in plain sight.

Don't be afraid. And above all, know your sandwich.

#4102 My grandmother saw my facebook and threw up after reading some of the shit you people post on this page. This page should be refered to as /unt/ from now on because it looks like some shit posted here would belong on specifically 4chan.org/b/

#4101 is it bad to eat 3 pizzas by myself?

#4100 I'm in love with this guy but I feel like after college I may never see him again
What should I do