Flo from the progressive commercials turns me on.

I need to cuddle =(

Pitched a tent in my dorm room and hot boxed the shit out of it. Best lazy Saturday ever!

I truly respect the pastors that stand outside the Union every day preaching the word of God to try and save the souls of our generation.

I hate my roommate's girlfriend. If she didn't exist, there wouldn't be any drama between me and the guy; I really like him a lot. But this blonde bitch thinks it's ok to mess with my stuff, leave her shit on the floor, and be as loud as she possibly can all night long.
It seriously won't kill you to sleep in your room a few nights a week, I promise.

To the girl that keeps giving me mixed signals: You're the first girl that I have been really interested in, not just for sex, I will win you over. It does not matter how long it takes, because you are worth it.

I'm scared to talk to a cute girl at the Rec ever since a girl posted on here she'd kill the next guy to talk to her there. Show yourself so I can avoid death!

Aprillyn from Dr. Belshaws class, you are the cutest thing ive ever seen.