Sometimes I like to smear mayonnaise on my room mates toes and lick it off while hes sleeping. I don't think he minds, since he never wakes up.

I hate walking up the stairs behind people. My face always ends up at butt level. And I'm always afraid the person in front of me will fart and it'll blow right into my face.

My polyamorous relationship is driving me crazy, my boyfriend makes one girlfriend happy which upsets the other. It's a lose-lose situation. But I can't get out, because I honestly can't lose him...

I don't go to Maryland but I am part of all the UMD things on facebook.....glad thats off my chest...also I killed my cat mittens once

why are asians so sexy?!??!!!!! <3

someone come do cute stuff with me like fuck me till I cant walk

sometimes i get so sick of the never-ending work that i just want to shred all my papers and throw them out the window and come up with some way to make a decent living from sleeping and drinking wine.

I'm about ready to flip my roommates mattress over with him in it. COME ON!!!! Who fucking snoozes their alarm from 8:30am until 11:30?? Just set one damn alarm and wake up already