At one point I thought I was addicted to masturbating, I was doing it everyday and some times two, three times a day. And most times I wouldn't even be horny, my hand would just gravitate towards my lower area. Orgasms are one hell of a drug.

My friends will know who this is when they read it.
I like the sound of elephants trumpeting.
Something about it makes me happy for no reason.

God, why am I so lazy. I don't take baths for weeks even though I can smell my ball funk from three feet away, go to class in the mornings without brushing my teeth, and even procrastinate to take a dump until I get diarrhea. All I want to do sleep and shake my turban, my life is so freaking disgusting, man I am truly a wild animal in human form, like the yahoos in houyhnhnms. I don't even care anymore. I also kind of like the smell of my ball funk and dandruff <3<3<3.

I wish Ashlie C. was single #problems

I'm pretty sure I will fail all of my classes this semester. Goodbye business school and honors college.

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to loved at all?

It seems like there are a lot of tools on this campus.

Sometimes when people trip or fall I laugh. I know I am a bad person for this but it's just hard not too laugh. Oops.