I don't like The Big Bang Theory tv show. It's not that I don't understand it, I just don't find it funny. There are so many better shows out there.

Facebook, if you think I'm giving my friend a Starbucks gift card for their birthday, you've got be kidding.

Step 1: See into the future
Step 2: Tell everyone your predictions
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Prophet

I have long accepted the severly reduced probability that any girl will be physically attracted to me due to me being 5'4.

Anyone who doesn't do their course evaluations is a lazy piece of shit.

taking classes you took in freshman year of high school 5 times doesn't mean you're challenging yourself. . . It just means you're trying to be perfect. you don't have to be perfect...just do the things you like.

I must admit, I like Asian girls because they look good naked.

I had the strangest dream last night. I basically returned to my dorm as normal and noticed on my bed a 5 foot plush in the shape of gatomon/renamon [it fluctuated during the dream], but thinking think anything of it and went on my computer to check my email then closed the computer. I then felt the plush to make sure that it wasn't a prank. Then, long story short, "stop and go, using its hands, it comes to life freeing my hands, 69, cowgirl, doggie style, missionary, bj for 'cleaning up', sleep with it but also use it as back support with it still being a plush and all" with each part seeming to last 5 minutes or so (of course being asleep that could have just been seconds in real life).

The last two I'm not certain about, but I think the rest is my brain telling me 'get laid you virgin or masturbate the next chance your roommate leaves the room'.