I had really spicy food yesterday. And I love how my butt hole burns this morning when I took a shit.

If a guy is called a hero, does that make women heroine?

Every time I send a text message to anyone and don't hear a response back in 20 minutes, I always think my phone is broken.

Ok so I was about to have sex with this girl last weekend and when I dropped my pants she got scared and just got me out the way with a blow job. I was kind of mad because is like 7 inches really that big?

Im proud to be a citizen of the United States of America but as a nation we are not “United”. Certain instances like the Trayvon martin case show how fractured we are as a nation. I know it’s a pipe dream but I long for the day where we can come together and not let cases like the martin case separate us but from what I have been seeing and reading we might as well be the Divided States of America.

I'm so sick of people saying that they are so afraid their kids will just go out and get killed. Now I'm afraid that I won't be able to defend myself without being accused of being a racist.

I was listening to this podcast where these people, a porn producer, an artist, and a talk show host were talking about how marriage was an absolutely insane proposition, about how it was coming to an end. Then they started talking about how they wanted android robots to fulfill their sexual needs and that such robots would be infinitely better than real women. These people really, and I have to say understandably, distrusted human beings. But I would've like to point out to these people that developing such life like androids would take thousands of engineers, hundreds of billions of dollars, and many more years. In order for all of that to happen we need families to buy houses, consume goods,increase tax revenues, and produce the required thousands of engineers and scientists. All of this requires the preservation of the family unit. Without the nuclear family unit our civilizations would not be anywhere near where it is today. Marrying and having a family is not something you do for fun, it is a duty required of anyone who enjoys the fruit of our civilization.

Hey, you. Fasto. Ya, over there. You know I'm talking to you... Stay classy ;)