I apologize for everything because I don't know how to get people to speak up and apologize first.

Here's a confession. It's true. I don't get mad or upset at people. It's because I'm more so disappointed or flustered. This causes me to judge everyone as if they're using me. I wish I didn't feel this way...but that's how I felt growing up. People just using me as a temporary emotion. But as long as it means I'm wanted to some sense right? Right?
I wonder how long it'll take before I break down.
(Please don't respond with any of your "suicide hotlines" or depression shit.)
I'm confessing a flaw about myself, not begging for mental help.

I was watching TV and I just saw a commercial where the announcer said "the truth never changes" and then it cuts to the main person saying "What do you think happened?"... I hate American TV.

im starting to resent the fact that i depend on my friends for a social life. im too introverted/lazy/afriad to approach people and make the effort to appear fun and show people a good time. my friends are so good at making new friends and finding stuff to do like parties, and im just not confident in those skills. if people approach me, i feel comfortable. if a girl is introduced to me and i can tell shes down then i got, but if its me approaching the girl i feel out of my element. i need to learn how to create my own life! i cant do this forever

I love your sticky rice
Butt fucking all night
Korean barbecue
Bitch I love you
I love your creamy yellow thighs
Ooh you're slanted eyes
It's the Year of the Dragon
Ninja pussy I'm stabbin'

People think I'm "the nicest girl they've ever met" but honestly, I just don't have the courage to say what's truly on my mind, and I dislike many of the people I meet. If people are irritating me and I don't like what they're doing or saying, I can't form the words to tell them to stop. If I actually say something, it's still frustrating because I end up saying it weakly, so they don't take the hint or stop. Always, guys who might be called 'nerds' or 'awkward' approach me and talk to me, and then follow me around campus. The term isn't important, but their personalities are bad. We don't have the same schedule at all, yet somehow they'll be outside my lecture hall after my class or they'll find me in the most obscure places. Their behaviour is crude and I honestly hate their following me, it's scary to me, but I can't say anything direct to them because I'm afraid of hurting their feelings. I hear stories all the time about kids who killed themselves because of the one thing someone said to them that pushed them over the edge and I'm so afraid that could be me if I directly tell them to stop following me. My friends think these guys are strange, too, and tell me to just tell them to go away, but I can't. I know I need to, but I can't make myself actually say the words in my head. Is there even a kind way to say "Leave me alone"?

I seriously can't stand my dad. Only if he realized how much of a dickhead he was he would understand why I barely give an effort to talk to him. Dude doesn't even know what I'm studying and I'm a damn senior! All he ever thinks about is me paying for parking tickets or paying my cell phone bill... Fuck off man. Can't wait until I'm outta this fuckin house and got my own shit to deal with.

The truth is I'm homophobic. Not that I hate gay people but I'm just damn homophobic, I don't know how I'll overcome this since America is rapidly accepting gay marriages and all.