#8229 I just blew on my ice cream to try to warm it up a bit. #amiactuallyincollege #whyamisodumb

#8228 I have to walk a little slower than my speed walk so I don't get too close to the girl walking ahead of me. She might think I'm following her or going to rape her. But damn, I'm just trying to get to my car and drive to Chipotle before it closes.

#8227 I want to hitchhike the cars driving by me. They're going across campus anyways, right? It would save me 10 minutes and barely inconvenience them.

#8226 I am so weirdly attracted to Seth Macfarlane.

#8225 Haha, okay I just saw the commercials for the campaign against pet cancer. I love my dogs more than anyone, but they're crazy if they think I'll donate to research for pet cancer before donating to people cancer.

#8224 Where are some interesting places to have sex on campus? I am trying to be a little more adventurous.

#8223 I was hanging out with a friend for the first time and her friends misheard me and thought I said it was my birthday. I spent all night pretending it was my birthday just because I was too awkward to correct them. I had to take my birthday date off my fb.

#8222 I'M NOT CONFUSED; I'M NOT EXPERIMENTAL; I'M NOT A "FREAK." I am a real, live bisexual. I don't understand how people can "understand" being gay but not bisexuality. If you can imagine liking men, and you do like women, how can you not imagine liking both?
I'm also monogamous. And it's creepy as fuck when I mention bisexuality and guys' eyes light up like it's a damn holiday. That's not an invitation, perv.