Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:39 AM
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#17803 Thank you, federal student loans, for getting me through college! I don't think I can ever repay you!
Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:19 AM
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#17802 I tend to masturbate after my roommate falls asleep and I hear them snoring. It's just about the only thing I get for free at college.
Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:11 AM
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#17801 My roommate is pretty much the worst person I've ever met in my entire life.
Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:10 AM
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#17800 My sugar daddy pays for my college education. In exchange, he just lays on top of me and grunts for a few minutes.
Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:09 AM
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#17799 It's best to assume the hot girls at the bar are flirting with you just to get free drinks.
Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:08 AM
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#17798 I'm to the point where I can drink an entire bottle of vodka and not feel anything. No hangover either.
Wednesday, 07 October 2015 09:07 AM
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#17797 Shoutout to the girls who have their shit together, way too many pretty bitches get credit for having a big ass and no job.
Tuesday, 06 October 2015 08:19 PM
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#17796 You should know that I love you all so much. I'm just a really terrible person ,so I don't tell you all that often in person when I'm sober.