#5300 Is the old dude directing traffic at Holy Ghost even legally authorized to wave me through the Stop Sign? He held up the left lane for 4 minutes the other day while parents were using the right lane... I just wanna fling my passenger door open and wing him one day.

#5299 To the "friend" who lied and started dating my ex behind my back: I just found out that he broke your heart. I confess that I'm so utterly overjoyed right now. Karma sucks, man. Glad you got what you deserved and hopefully learned a lesson. I for sure learned a lesson: Never befriend someone you meet on the Lions Crushes page.

#5305 After I'm done having sex with a girl and i want to continue to have sex with them, I rub my sweaty dick on her shirts. I think other guys can smell it and know she is getting her pussy pounded later that night.

#5306 When I'm bored I frighten my roommate by playing "He's got the whole world" sung by a children's choir and sing along. He's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands. #followthebuzzards

#5330 I don't think I will ever find anyone, starting to think I am not good enough. I had a child at 19, and everyone judges me. I have my stuff together though, I work two jobs, I go to school, I handle my business. I get along with everyone. I just don't understand what I am lacking. Sometimes i think I am too nice.. maybe if I was a phyco bitch I could get some guys.

#5296 I confess that I'm a straight woman in a happy loving relationship with my boyfriend, but I would LOVE to fuck Scarlett Johansson. She's so sexy. Like god damn.

#5306 So I was walking home from my house, when this mail box ran out in front of me. I honked the horn and almost ran into the sun but luckily the dog flew away.

Cake - I'll take some of what you're having

#5343 Two more weeks, and I am already being nostalgic to the university, BUT, wait! not the classes and studying; poking girls at the student union and those NIKE shorts. 3 months more! #sad #summer