Friday, 05 December 2014 04:01 PM
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#7401 I confess he called me a whore, a hoe, a phsyco bitch, and a cunt. He put his hands on me and left bruises that stayed for weeks. But he was always faithful. And yes, I'm going to stay with him still because I love him. I'm not looking for your advice and I'm not looking for any rude comments. I just needed to get out something that I know no one will understand, but it makes me feel better to say it.
Friday, 05 December 2014 03:36 PM
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#7400 So, I went to see a therapist today around noon. I was not sure what to expect. I was embarrassed when she started asking questions about my life, and wanted to shut down, but eventually I opened up, and was happy I did. I told her about when I was a child, how I was isolated a lot, how I felt outcasted even by the kids in my neighborhood growing up, and how I managed to find solace in playing collectable card games. Now I know that some people my find them stupid, and might belittle me for liking them even though I am in my 20's, but they are a way I could relate to people, communicate with them, helped me to make friends, and gave me a real hobby to do throughout my life. When I had to actually give them to my friend to take away, it was one of the hardest things I had to do, not because they are simple pieces of paper that could be easily replaced, but because of what they represented: my childhood. My parents believe that I am obsessed with them, which is not true since I was simply able to just give them to someone I trusted to hold. But it was hard for me to do because it was something I loved to do. I told my therapist all about this, and she completely understood, was not judgmental about it at all, and even supported me in my decisions and my secret desire to become a Card Game designer. It has been my secret dream since I was a little boy to become one. I know I could do it, have plenty of creative ideas and that they are big and still big. My only fear was that if I told my parents about it, they would bash my dream, say it was impractical, and could not be done, so my therapist said to simply not tell them. When I saw my mom this evening, she asked how it went, and I said great. She then proceeded to ask what we talked about, and that pissed me off because I knew the end result before it even occurred. When I refused to tell her, she started to bitch at me because I would not tell her, that: she was paying for it so she had a right to know (which is true she is paying for it, but the stuff that is being shared behind those doors is supposed to remain confidential A.K.A. NONE OF HER GOD DAMN BUSINESS! Regardless of whether she is my mother or not) I told her "You'll think my idea is stupid and will belittle it" and she replied "No I won't, as long as you have a direction you want to go," so I told her...she lied. I then told her that my friends all play them, and if I told them about my dream, they would tell me to go for it, to which she replied "Your friends are obsessed with them as well." Excuse me...but you don't even know half of them, or what they are like in person, nor that that may be what we talk about A LOT, but it is not the only things I talk about with them. All it has done is given me common ground with people to relate to them, and I found enjoyment and solace in them, even going as far as to remove them from my life to focus during exams. I know my mom wants what is best for me, and that she and my father are paying for a lot of the things I have, but I do not think that that gives them the right to belittle a dream, no matter how stupid it may be to them, to the person who has a dream. She said she was about to cry because she thought I have been struggling to focus my attention...I was about to cry because I think I may have found what I want to do with my life, and she goes and not only thinks it's stupid and me just obsessing over something, but she then proceeded to insult people who are good friends of mine, who would have my back again the wall. I admit that I have not done the best things in the world and have screwed up: Crashing a car that belongs to them, having to drop out of a high cost university because my grades were not great, and even spent so much money but never saved up enough to move away or pay for anything, but I don't care who you are, how old you are, if you raised me or not, and you have payed for the therapist I am getting to see...no one...and I mean NO ONE...insult the people I care about like that. Rant over