#31107 "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky
-Michael Scott

#31106 You better send me your bobs or else I'll send you my penis

#31097 Purdue has just fucking ruined my life. I’m an international student and ’m supposed to graduate this May but now I can’t because I took a class, which was approved by my advisor, but now ISS is saying that it doesn’t count towards my degree. $200k, 4 years of working my ass off, all down the drain because my advisor couldn’t do their job correctly. I can’t even register for another course right now, and ISS thought it would be hilarious to wait until now to tell me this instead of telling me at the end of last semester. I have a job offer lined up but I’m supposed to start in June and now I think they might rescind their offer because of this. Im utterly fucked. I feeling killing myself. This university has caused me nothing but suffering. I only hope the worst for its future.

#31105 I held onto my job for a long time, I loved it, along with all the customers, but alas, my crush never comes in, management is being toxic so I got a new job

#31112 To all those people who are feeling low, depressed and defeated. I hope you derive some inspiration from this video to get up and fight and achieve something that makes you happy:
https://youtu.be/mgmVOuLgFB0

#31111 Ohhhhh what am I going to say to Prof. Clifton today??? I just realized I got Differential Privacy wrong again for the umpteenth time!
I mean at least it'll prolly take a minor change in the code. Hopefully... (which never happens).

#31104 At #31066 and #31057 honestly if you see a guy and want to talk to him just approach him. Even if it's just to say hi and ask how his day's going. Trust me when I say that it'd make my day if a girl I didn't know just came up out of the blue and struck up a casual conversation. You're on a campus of 30000 undergrads so the odds that you'll ever run into him again are slim to none; shoot your shot. Worst case scenario nothing happens. When you realize that there isn't really a consequence to just saying hi to someone you'll feel so liberated.

#31103 When working at Harrison late midnight, you can hear girls moaning loudly enough.